Any time you are distracted, even by positive thoughts, you aren’t present at your work and you’re unproductive.
What can you do to bring better focus?
- Create a personal ritual in the car or on the train on your way to work. Close your eyes and let go of the things that happened right before. Remind yourself that you’re not ignoring them, you are putting them on hold until the end of the work day
- Meditate! The number 1 reason I teach my clients to meditate is because it strengthens your Will and allows you to choose on thought over another.
- Organize your time before and after work. One of the most common forms of self-sabotage is disorganization. Another reason to meditate is that it helps organize your brain. I’m off meds for ADHD as a result of Meditation. When you make lists, or use your phone’s calendar, you are setting yourself up for success
- TAKE A DAY OFF! If you are SO distracted at work that you really aren’t doing your job, take a mental health day and take care of yourself. Can’t take a day? Take an evening or a morning. Set an alarm. Get up early and get organized.
- Gently (yes I said gently) notice what the patterns are. What are you resisting? How can you take the reigns and get back in charge? What’s there for you to lovingly own?
As a culture we give all the appearances of a race of people addicted to the negative and talking about the negative. Notice how easy it is to get into a conversation with someone about a topic that is dark, or about a third person.
The same can be said about the Healing Process. We can become so addicted to talking about our “story” or “issues”, that they become our identity and rob us of the ability to heal because we are stuck sitting and spinning, around and around about the same topic related to an event in the past where we were harmed in some way. Our emotions are engaged, our egos are entangled in the emotions, making it seem impossible to stop because everything feels relevant and necessary and important.
I want to be clear, I have done it too. If you look in the “About” section of my website, you’ll see how much Work I’ve done, some of which did involve some sitting and spinning, so please don’t think I’m excluding myself from this conversation at all- I’m not.
Therapy-the kind where we sit and talk to someone about the thing or things that happened- can be very constructive if it leads you to a greater sense of empathy and understanding of yourself and the people involved in whatever your specific wounding is or was.
However, if what you want is true healing of the anxiety you’re facing, what you need is energy and brain work- not talk. You need to be able to safely release the negative emotions you’ve been carrying, and also change your brain patterns so you can move on with your life. The best way to do this is through meditation and energy work. Meditation changes your brain patterns by creating new neuro-pathways. You end up using more of your brain and it actually makes you smarter. Energy work such a Jikiden Reiki, heals emotional energy trapped in the body.
Talk is cheap because it robs you of forward movement. When I work with my clients, we don’t talk, we work. We dig in and we move energy. Healing is work worth engaging in.
“Adults who suffer from developmental trauma may go on to develop Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or “cPTSD,” which is characterized by difficulties in emotional regulation, consciousness and memory, self-perception, distorted perceptions of perpetrators of abuse, difficulties in relationships with other people, and negative effects on the meaningfulness of life.” –Grant Hilary Brenner M.D.
In other words, if, like me, you suffered from abuse or some other form of trauma as a child, it doesn’t go away. It affects every aspect of your life. It will keep you from everything that you really wanted and needed because it’s still asking you to deal with it.
Are you still having flashbacks? Are you having panic attacks? Are you still single because you’re afraid of being in a relationship, or have you noticed your “picker” is broken ( you choose partners who are not emotionally available, or are selfish and abusive)?
The flashbacks and the panic attacks are your Soul’s way of getting your attention. You aren’t meant to live in fear anymore.
It’s so hard when you’re in it because what you think of as normal isn’t . It’s simply what you’re used to-the lack of sleep, all of it.
Here are some thoughts to consider:
- Get real and get honest- if any of what I’ve said is you, go and talk to a Professional.
- Don’t let shame keep you from getting the help you need. What happened “to you” all those years ago was NOT your creation. You didn’t cause it, you couldn’t control it and you could not cure it
- It is usual for a child or an adult child to feel tremendous guilt for either surviving the experience or being unable to have stopped it. I felt like this about my mother’s cancer. I felt incredible guilt that I couldn’t keep her alive- as if I even had the power to. Children have very different perspectives than adults as their brains are still developing.
- When you’re the survivor of an event or ongoing abuse or trauma of some kind, you live in a state of stress, anxiety and “fight or flight”. Your “emotional brain” shut down at whatever age the trauma occurred. This means you could be an adult who is 45, but emotionally you could be 3.
- Chances are, if you’ve survived developmental trauma and you haven’t sought treatment, you’ve moved around a lot. In the past ten years, how often have you moved for whatever reason?
- How many different job have you held over the past five years? Depending on your brain, you may have either been at the same job for years afraid to move, or may have changed jobs once a year or more often
You deserve stability and security. You do. Take a baby step. Look in the mirror and tell yourself the Truth. There is help to be had if you want Peace. Love yourself enough to get help.
- Name 5 things you see around you
- Touch and name 4 objects around you
- Name 3 things you hear
- Name 2 things you can smell
- Name one thing you can taste
Notice that your breathing has calmed. Continue taking slow deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth.