One of the most important things a trauma survivor can do is receive love and it is also the hardest.
If you grew up in chaos and had relationship modelled for you in a way that frightened you, you avoid the very thing that can save you.
When you meet someone how do you know they’re “the one” or the “right one”? Many of us go from one unfulfilling “relationship” to another because it’s safer than having to be authentically vulnerable and opening our hearts to receive Love from some who actually knows how to love us in a healthy way.
Here are some thoughts for you:
- If the person REALLY triggers you, in either a good way or a bad way, WALK AWAY. You are just going to have to trust me on this one. All that STUFF is just more drama
- If the person is authentically kind to you, TAKE YOUR TIME getting to know them. If they are good for you, they won’t hurry either
- You will want to jump heard-first into everything so you can dissect it all, get what you need, and take off before you get hurt. DONT DO THAT
- When you find someone good for you, you will test them. I’m not even going to tell you not to, but I AM going to tell you to apologize and recognize when you’re doing it
- Encourage them to read up on trauma so they can understand you
- Do your inner work. If you want this relationship, then act like it. Work on your issues in whatever way you do or can
You deserve Love and Peace and you don’t have to be alone to be safe. Come in from the cold, my friend